Ikea Ikea

Matthias started work this week. And what better way to keep myself occupied than with the obligatory "we just moved" pilgrimage to Ikea? Now, those of you who know me well know that I do not have a good sense of direction. Most of the time I'm fortunate enough to have friends with me who know where we are and where we're going and don't mind grabbing me by the elbow when I start to veer off course. If it wasn't for my roommate Natasha in Vietnam, I'd still be wandering the streets of Nha Trang.

I've learned to cope with this personal shortcoming by writing down, step by step, a detailed description of how to get to my destination. So, with that in mind, I checked the location of Ikea in Zurich on the internet. Actually, it's just outside of Zurich city limits in Dietlikon.

I checked the local transit website, which suggested two alternative routes: take the S3 to Dietlikon Station or take the S12 to Stettbach. In either case, transfer to Bus 787 from there and get out at Industriestrasse. K, got it.

I caught the tram and arrived at the train station no problem. Checked the departure board. An S12 was leaving in 10 minutes from platform 4. I glanced over the stops .. Schlieren - Dietikon - Tur.. Dietikon. Right on.

Only did it occur to me that something strange was going on when we arrived at Dietikon station without passing through Stettbach. Remember, I was supposed to take the S12 to Stettbach. Still, I knew I could get Bus 787 in any case from Dietlikon station, so I got out. Several buses were parked directly across from the train station. I glanced from one number to the next .. 301, 303, 309 ... they were all in the three hundreds. No sign of 787. Hmmm. I decided to check if any of them went to Ikea, since I knew I was in the right neck of the woods. Sure enough, the 303 had a stop conveniently titled "Ikea". Funny, I thought. Maybe they recently renumbered the buses? Nevermind. I was going to Ikea, and I knew how to retrace my steps and get home.

That night I told my whole story to Matthias. During the retelling, a wave of "wait a minute ..." began washing over me. I flipped to the reference page of my newly acquired Ikea catalog. Yes folks, there is a second Ikea, in Spreitenbach.

Spreitenbach is just a little west of Dietikon, whereas the other Ikea – the one I intended to visit – is just south of Dietlikon, with an 'l' in the middle. Dietikon and Dietlikon. Two different places, both right outside of Zurich. Further complicating matters, Ikea is located on "Industriestrasse" in both places.

So the fact remains: when left to my own devices, I cannot find my way out of a sack. But I *can* find my way out of a similar-looking sack where they also sell Billy shelves for cheap.